Classmates

These are the people who happen to be my classmate at grad school. Most of them are female like almost every communication class would be. :p

Note: There are THREE Eci  in the class. Yup.

Men of My Life

For some reasons I really love this picture of my father and my husband at Masjid Al-Haram, Makkah. Maybe because these two persons are the guys in my life. The ones I respect, love, and care the most. :')

Miss you both + Mama too..

Miles..miles Away..

As I flew back to Jakarta this morning to catch my 9 o'clock Mass Communication Theory class, I realized that the times make you used to. When I get more often being away from the people I love, I could through it toughly. Not that It wasn't a big deal anymore. It is still sad but I just live with that. With less anxiety and tears. And that's when I know I'm growing.

New Look!!

Been 3 weeks wearing veil. :D

More Than a Four Letter Word

I forgot how I really love Jason Mraz (songs, voice. Obviously). I remember how I listened to his "We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things" album religiously every single day in my last semester of undergraduate school. His songs are my kind of songs. And I fall in love again with his latest album "Love is a Four Letter Word". Check this single of him "I Won't Give Up". Perfection.

2 Days in Paris

So today I've managed to download Julie Delpy's movie 2 Days in Paris. I just love Julie Delpy so, I didn't have any expectation to the movie at the very beginning. I was going to enjoy it.

But in the end, I think that It gave me lessons. Lessons about love, about what it takes to love somebody. About accepting past, because some things can't be erased. No matter how hard you hate your past or his past, things happened and you have to accept it.

You can tear a page in his thesis which has a tribute sentence for other person in his past, nevertheless you can't tear the fact that it had been written down.

You can throw photos of him and person from his past but admit it the photos still had been taken.

You can delete texts, emails, or any evidence which basically rings you that there was other person before you but you can't refuse the fact that there is a past in every person.

For that reasons you can't always living in the shadow of past, you are in present and heading to the future. Stay focus and keep your eyes see straight to what's in front of you and stop, i repeat, stop looking at past. It's pointless to dwell on the past. As one chapter of your life ends, a new one begins..

Here is a nice quote from Marion that i like :

"There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you 60% of the time, you still can't live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well, you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses."

Have a good night!

Distance

Mungkin karena sepi, sendiri, jenuh seharian hanya melihat 2 pasang dinding yang berhadap-hadapan maka setelah puluhan website dibuka, berulang-ulang karaoke lagu-lagu Sondre Lerche, baca buku, nonton film Captain America yang sudah lama tersimpan rapi di Laptopku, tidur-bangun-tidur-bangun, dan bersih-bersih kamar kost (yang entah sudah berapa kali disapu hari ini), so I decided to make a post. To keep my sanity :P.

Lucu memang bagaimana Saya adalah orang yang suka sekali sendirian tapi baru 3 hari saja jadi anak kost sudah bosan setengah mati. Dulu yang Saya tahu, Saya selalu teramat sangat suka punya waktu sendirian, benar-benar sendirian, apalagi ditambah dengan tumpukan buku baru, koneksi internet dan lagu-lagu favoritku rasanya waktu-waktu itu sangatlah berharga. Terutama setelah lulus kuliah dan mulai kerja, jarang sekali Saya dapatkan waktu untuk sendirian melakukan "meditasi' ala Eci itu. Walaupun libur, tahulah banyak cucian, urusan ke sana ke sini, acara keluarga dll. Sekarang setelah Saya telaah lagi sepertinya bukan itu, bukan sendirian yang Saya nikmati, tapi melakukan kegiatan sendiri dan tahu bahwa ketika Saya selesai atau merasa cukup, maka Saya tinggal membuka pintu kamar dan kembali bersama orang-orang tempat Saya membagi waktu dengan senang hati. I miss the atmosphere of home, the warmness, mom's cooks, dad's voice when reading Al Quran, sisters hilarity, and all of that.

It's not going to be this bad if only my husband was here with me. Tahu rasanya jauh dari keluarga? That's exactly how I felt when I first moved to my husband's family house. Rasanya sedih, tapi suamiku ada bersamaku. And it redeemed all those sad feeling. Sekarang pun sama, walau jauh dari keluarga rasanya tidak akan sulit saat suamiku ada. Tapi saat dia tidak ada, seperti saat ini, maka sedihnya jadi berkali lipat.

Not that I regret my choice, not at all. I know it's a process and all I have to do is to get used to it really soon. My class will start on Monday and I'm so excited to be a student again. Semoga bisa mengusir sedikit rasa sepi dan bosan walau pasti tidak akan bisa mengusir rindu.

I miss you, dear. No matter how far away we are now, I always know that you are thinking of me too. :)

A whole new life..

June 30th, 2012.

Let the new life, begin!!

:)

Right On Time

 "Eci, If I let you live in Jakarta, will you follow my rules?"

Right after I had left every decision to my creator through my future husband. Right when there's only resignation left inside my heart.

My previous post should have been a farewell, a goodbye to my childhood dream, but apparently God has another plan on me. And to double it, God gives me a better plan (insyaallah).

We're engaged now and I'm more than excited to start a new life with him.

Alhamdulillah.

(Love the sunshine effect <3 )

A farewell, maybe.

Some dreams are just too good to be true.

There is this ocean called heart, have you heard?

Never depends on someone else for your happiness because nobody is responsible for your happiness. People are exist in your life just to give some colors. People come and go, they hurt you and love you, they give you good times and bad times. We shouldn't ask them to guarantee our own happiness 24/7 because they can't. Nobody capable of that, neither do I. If I keep waiting for someone to give me happiness then I could live unhappy everyday for what they've done to me. At the end of the day, I just have to crawl back to my heart where unlimited happiness waiting to be perceived.

Guess I just have to be reminded of Ar-ra'd : 28.

I laugh when strangers say they know me

What you see depends on how much I reveal so no, don't you even think you know me, or what is up with me.
- @catwomanizer

A Growing Seed

Just had ITP TOEFL test this morning, then go back to office for our new students admission test. Now I am sitting at my seat alone while it's raining outside. Everyone has gone home earlier, one of them even has back home at 9 o'clock for whatever reason despite the responsibility given. So many things annoys me today, and i can't help but think what is wrong? Why it has to be like this now? How this place could changed that much? And why am I take this so seriously? I mean, I could just act like I don't care but I do care. It was my interest, my flower seed. I try my best to grow it, i learn how to water, give it enough sunlight, fertilizer and everything. I take a very good care of the pot. I won't let anyone with dirty hand touch it before they use some sanitizer. I don't own the pot nor the seed but previously we took care of it together. Now when new people come, they don't give a crap about how to water it or how much fertilizer needed. My seed has become a bud and soon will bloom. But they also don't think about it. They water it when they want, put it in sunlight when they remember, fertilize it when they feel like to. But often they just leave and let me handle it without even tell me what to do. I try my best to keep it grows, but i probably must leave it soon. And i hope some better people come to the rescue and save my seed. I'll be happy to see the flowers even from a distance.

Enjoy your weekend, fellas.

:)

Foto Del Dia

You know you are addicted to your Smartphone when you suddenly found this photo in your other phone's images folder without even realizing when does this photo was taken.

Marching

Hello folks! Happy Sunday!

I'm happy that everything is going back to normal. My sister is home already after her 40 days obligatory social action internship. The house is full, the joy is filled. Nothing beats having all members of family gathered around. :))

I also love that I'm back being my motivated self, you know, after being so distracted with craziness which caused by certain person. Now, i try to put attention only for things that are matters such as family and friends, my relationship, and most importantly, my own self.

Just some random things about me lately:
1. I weight 60 Kilos, ladies and gentleman!!! Diet start today!!! Um.. or Monday. Oh, well.
2. Replaying Adele - Someone Like You for thousand times a day. Why does that song could be so darn addictive? Also, another addictive stuff? 9GAG, that is.
3. I'm going to take TOEFL ITP test by next Saturday, hope the score could reach my target.
4. It's March, means only two months left. Hahaha.
5. I couldn't stop eating strawberries.
6. I want Samsung Galaxy Note!! HAHA.
7. Need to clean Coral off after her Jakarta adventure. :D

Bye now!

*kisses*

There is a reason why a ring finger named a ring finger.

Well, simply because it wears a ring.

I used to wore a ring in my ring finger and it took so long to get used to when I had to let my ring go. Then I am thinking why didn't I buy my ring finger a ring? And comes the time where I wanted to give a little present to my own self because of what it has done lately. You know for being so courageous, breaking her own limit, and try a little harder. When I was looking around I found this cute simple ring for daily wear. And it costs just fit in my almost bankrupt bank account. Hehe.

Surprisingly, I didn't expect it could produce such happiness. I am so happy to have this little gift from my self. Like, it means a lot.

:)

Photo Del Dia

This photo was taken at my friend's wedding reception. 06.01.2012.

It's raining and it's Sunday..

I should have feel comfortable inside my warm bedroom, chilling, drinking hot chocolate and munching cookies. But I am not. I feel so tired and my mind is anywhere but here. I remember of how annoying yesterday was. I'm fed up with that place and the people in it. How can i let my self trapped so long there? I have no idea. I don't want to becoming one of them, for the God sake, hell no. Tonight I must go to Palembang to finish some stuff. Going there is the last thing i want do when I actually have something more important to care about. Especially with all those mess related to this trip. I'm all like ~meh. But a duty is a duty. In the name of professionalism, just consider it's done.

I have plan about these whole situation, about my future, and all i need is a little courage. Yes, a courage to take the risks and all consequences from my choice. I have three months left. I still am going to do my best, like I always do. But I won't care anymore, if they don't want to show any responsibility as they must have shown, then let it be. I will only care about my main job and stop trying so hard to "build" this place. Enough is enough.

Everything just went wrong and all i have been doing (other than doing my main job) is connecting person with person, person with their responsibility, person with their duties. WTF? Let's stop talking about this or i don't know if i could managed to stop rant.

Well, i probably will have a Bappenas TPA test by the next Sunday. I need the minimum score 550. wish me luck. I guarantee that this week will be the busiest week ever. I need to stay healthy both physically and mentally which means i have to stay away from trouble for a moment. To be specific, I will protect my self from any contact with that certain immature yet irrational woman. She seemed like quiet now, but who knows what a person with the potential to harm people could do. Wish me another luck.

Ok, i have to pack my bag.

See ya peeps, enjoy your beautiful Sunday (because i don't have one)! :)

Saya harus nulis, saya ingin nulis, sekarang juga.

Entah kenapa akhir-akhir ini hidup saya kurang menarik. Terasa itu-itu saja yang dilakukan, bosan dengan pekerjaan yang tidak ada habisnya. Tapi sebenarnya bukan itu yang terjadi, bukan karena kesibukan dan rutinitas. Yang terjadi adalah saya mulai kurang memaknai setiap detail dalam hari-hari saya. Setelah saya baca lagi berulang-ulang tulisan-tulisan lama saya di blog ini sebenarnya tidak terlalu jauh berbeda. Dulu pun saya biasa-biasa saja, jadi mahasiswa juga bukan mahasiswa yang ekstra sibuk dengan kegiatan seabreg. Bahkan bisa dibilang sekarang lebih banyak hal baru yang saya alami di tempat kerja, hasil interaksi dengan orang-orang di sekitar, atau kejadian-kejadian tidak biasa yang tidak pernah terjadi sebelumnya seumur hidup saya. Bedanya saya mulai berpikir terlalu berat, semakin kehilangan rasa "kanak-kanak". Do you see what i mean? Kalau kita selalu punya rasa "kanak-kanak" maka memakan satu cup es krim hari ini akan terasa sangat spesial, setiap pencapaian sekecil apapun will made your day.

Banyak hal yang sudah saya lakukan, banyak hal-hal kecil yang accomplished tapi tidak lagi saya syukuri sebagai sesuatu yang penting bagi saya unlike 1 or 2 years ago. Saya ingin kembali, kembali menjadi orang yang bisa membahagiakan diri saya sendiri. Yang tersenyum di depan kaca sambil bicara sendiri setiap pagi, yang menjadi sangat gembira memulai aktifitas karena semangkuk oatmeal dengan topping "baru", yang menggambar apapun yang saya lihat walaupun hasilnya aneh dan menggelikan, yang berteriak-teriak kegirangan karena berhasil mem-valid-kan EPSBED, yang sangat senang bisa makan pizza bersama kakak, yang kegirangan saat bangun pagi hari dan melihat Barca kehilangan poin lagi di Liga, yang senyum-senyum dengan perut penuh kupu-kupu saat membaca pesan singkat "selamat pagi" atau "jangan lupa makan siang dan shalat".

Kejadiannya masih ada, sama, setiap harinya. Tapi cara saya memaknainya yang berbeda dan membuat itu semua tak lagi spesial. Saya hanya perlu mengembalikan cara pandang saya tentang hidup, maka saya akan kembali berbahagia.

Maka berbahagialah, Eci. Matahari pukul 08.00 itu masih ada. :))

Mari mulai menulis (kejadian-kejadian kurang penting) lagii... :D