Foto Del Dia

(Location : Farmer's Market near my house.)

Desperate (no more)

(I put similar pic as my Blackberry Messenger display picture yesterday and my friends were all teased, huh that bitc*es :P)

Hello peeps,

The last time i post was all about broken heart but i barely couldn't believe that i almost done with all of that :D. I'm really happy now and i feel like a completely new person. I think i'm ready to move on and start a very new chapter of my life. I'm moving on. I have new spirit, new motivation, and most importantly new dreams (or let's call it old dreams resurrected).

Yesterday, i had my very first lecturing experience. The class is start at 13.30pm and butterflies was all over my stomach at 12.00pm. But everything turned out well, that was a fun experience and i'm so excited to do it again next week. There's a kind of satisfaction when i see the students interested in what i gave to them, asked many questions, and also answered my questions. Happy feeling which couldn't be redeemed with all money in the world. Hehe.. That was only a day, my first day and i already over the moon, i hope i can maintain this feeling and always have the same excitement everytime i doing my job. Amiin.

Things that made me happy these days also including final Thesis examination of 3 postgraduate students in my Institute! We made it! After two years we finally got Our first MTI! :)) I feel like a proud Mama, hahaha.. Hope there will be more in years to come!!

(Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. Alhamdulillah, this uncompleted task of mine that had been hanging on like forever is finally finished. Yay! I made the preface loh, hehe)

You know with all mess that happened in my life, i need a new life map, a new plan for my future. I'm rearranging it now :) i know what i want and i believe i can do this. All i have to do is keep on learning, work hard, pray much, and then let Allah do the rest.

Lastly, i only ask for one more thing: Wish there will be someone who has similar dream and wants to make it come true with me, together, forever :). Amiin.. amiin.. amiin..

Ok, have a good day! Cheers for the future!

PS: I start playing online game again, it's the sims social that have my heart right now. Hehe.. But i promise i won't be too addicted. Or not :P

Easier Said Than Done

Have you ever feel like you are having a mixed emotions whether to be happy or sad or crushed or devastated or simply being sincere? I should feel happy, i know. I mean that's the meaning of loving someone no? Feel happy when he is happy, even though seeing him happy with other person because you both couldn't make each other happy. But it's easier said than done. It is easier said than done. Indeed.

Every Hello Has a Goodbye

Today, sitting in my chair, left hand supporting my head, right hand holding the mouse, i stare at my info page on Facebook, i stare and stare for don't know how long. It's not that important for me, I'm over facebook for quite long time anyway. But i feel the need to delete certain photos and i remember about my status. Yup Relationship Status, the exact line that i've been staring for minutes. Should i change it now?

It's funny how i was so sure that the time i change my status will be about "upgrade" it into engaged or, well, (least than four months) married. But now it's completely the opposite.. It still very hard for me. Almost every night i didn't want to sleep because everytime i woke up in the morning there's a feeling of emptiness, like my body will be shattered into pieces if i do even a very little movement. That feeling of loss. Like, was i dreaming? But then i know i'm not and that fact strike right in my head relentlessly.

No matter how difficult it sounds, it's not that bad though. I mean, i know there are a lot of people who suffered even worse than this. Let's not say about writing a post, they couldn't even move from their bed crying their heart out. But here i am still have conciousness to wrting you this story.

For you, the one in my memory. Thank you for being with me for 6 years. I could spend hours only to write what you've given to me, what you've taught me. But let it stays in my heart, let the memories alive in my head. Not to be regret, but as a lesson. I wholeheartedly wish you a happy life ahead.

I may regret how we ended, but i will never regret what we had.

Well,


..there's nothing left to say but goodbye.