Now? Why?? How Come?

That was exact reaction from some people when i told them that i'm going to continue my study outta town. Yup, officially i've asked my office to let me go there. But i still haven't got any clear contract, explanation, or agreement with the institution. Some people might think that my idea is kinda odd, rush, or else, but i really don't understand why? I have reasons and i will explain why it should be done as soon as possible.

first. I'm in a comfort zone. And it's dangerous. As i've shared in my previous post about this, i feel good with my life now. But we must be careful if something works too well, means there's something bad about to come in. Or at least it would be some kind of lullaby that will makes us forget the world is bigger than what we have seen with our eyes now. I'm aware about this, so i have to do action, now!

second. I TEACH PEOPLE. I'm in a classroom 4 times a week trying to transfer a little knowledge i have to 20-40 students each classes. The more week passed by the more i realize that i know nothing. I am capable but i am also limited. Actually, I read books, i study like elementary student going to face final exam before i teach the next morning, i browse about things i don't know more than i've done before. But it's not enough. It won't be sufficient. I have to go back to classroom and let people with wider range of knowledge teach me directly. Period.

third. My daily routin at office consist of managing, handling, organizing postgraduate courses. Marketing, administration, financial, general affairs, academic stuff. In short, facilitate them to get a further education. Everyday i'm dealing with students, in weekend i meet senior lecturers giving knowledge to students and wonder: What makes me different from these students? Why didn't i in a classroom with them? Some of them has the same age range with me. And i shouldn't been here sitting in my square. "If today were the last day of my life, would i want to be the one who supervise final exam or the one who is doing the final exam?" Not both, but you get my poin, right? :P

fourth. This is a perfect momentum to change my life plan. I've cancelled my wedding. And it's not only about "no party on December 4th", it's deeper than that. Several plan needs to be reviewed. I need to remapped my choices and dreams in order to have a clear future design.

Well, i'm not going to listen to people who demotivates me. There will always that person/people whose happiness is depend on other's disappointment and failure. I'll stick with those who believe in my sincere intention to develop my self and without a doubt giving me motivation and moral support.

If it meant to be, it will be. We'll see in a month what would happened.

All together, finger crossed.

:)